Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I CAN MOONWALK!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
