Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
