Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
