Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
