I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
