You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
