Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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