end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
