return my video game
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
