So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
