yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
