Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
