Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
