so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
vagina is talking i cant
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
