Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
