When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
