but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
