Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
