sorry about calling you the devil all night.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
