i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
