Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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