dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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