im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
