Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
