Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
