I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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