Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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