I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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