That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
