Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
