im holly from the hills drunk
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
