Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
