Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
