Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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