so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
