My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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