You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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