We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
be right there i have to get my cape
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
