I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
