I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
now i know why i became what i already was.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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