I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
