can we get nightvision for the apartment?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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