So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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