i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
