My brain says no but my pants say off.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So vagazzling was a success
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
