I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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