Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
