Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
