think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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