I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
